15th December 2021
The good news first! Little baby hairs on my head!! I’m so pleased. Love how soft it feels. Like baby hair but then, that’s what it is really.
It’s so long since I last posted. I had hoped to be more regular with my musings but circumstances have prevented me from doing this. Mainly my problems with the chemotherapy.
I can’t believe I haven’t posted since 24th October! So much has happened since then. This could be a long read!
I had two chemotherapy treatments left at that point and was feeling ok to face the first of them (the 7th in total). It was on the 3rd November and I had one of my lovely friends round to be my gopher as usual. So lovely to have the company and chatter!
Well, yet another difficult experience. I can remember lying in bed a few days after, totally exhausted, feeling too tired almost to get to the bathroom and too tired to even cry. Sorry if this sounds dramatic but it was how I felt. Talking to another friend who is going through docetaxel too, she also feels totally exhausted and very emotional so I’m not alone. It doesn’t last forever but it took me a long time to feel up to getting out of bed and doing even small things during the day. I certainly didn’t feel I could necessarily face one more treatment. My body was struggling. More sore fingers, numbness in fingers and feet, the digestive system problems never ceased, fatigue, erratic sleep…
I had a telephone consultation with my oncologist a week after when I explained my symptoms and he suggested we might reduce the dose or even possibly cancel the last treatment but we would discuss this again. My feelings of relief at this were huge. He also booked me in for an MRI on the Friday before my last chemotherapy date. This would show how well chemo had worked and whether the tumour had reduced in size. We would make a final decision about cancellation at a telephone consultation after the MRI.
One of the nurses rang me to see how I was getting on and I mentioned what the oncologist had suggested. She was so supportive, explaining that it was not uncommon for patients to have their last treatment cancelled and the level of side effects was an indication that the chemotherapy was working. I felt really reassured by this information and comforted that I wasn’t on my own in my experience.
Meanwhile, I had my flu jab which was all good. Giving the dose and my arm Reiki reduces any side effects so I felt pretty much fine.
I had the MRI which is a little tricky as I had to lie face down on a frame with my arms above my head and keep still whilst the machine makes the most odd and loud noises of banging and thumping. It’s so loud they put headphones on you and a choice of music. I had a line into my port which would send dye in halfway through. I think I was squashing the port line inside my vein on the frame as for the next few nights it was sore and I had trouble sleeping.
My oncologist rang again as promised. The MRI results weren’t through yet but we discussed my symptoms and he confirmed he would cancel the last treatment. I was so relieved, I cried after we finished the call. I honestly think my body had had enough and whilst I would have put up with it, I’m not sure my body could have coped with any more battering!
So, it was just the Phesgo – only another 15 of those to go!
I got the results of the MRI shortly after. In the words of my doctor, the tumour had reduced “big time”!! Yay. So, now onto the surgical team for surgery to remove what was left around 5-6 weeks after the last chemotherapy.
Like my oncologist, my surgeon is great. We had a consultation and he explained that he would remove what is left and most of my lymph. I needed a marker inserted so he would know where to go since there was so little left. That was sorted the same evening. Surgery has been planned for 16th December with a pre-op visit to the hospital for an ECG, a blood test and a PCR. Afterwards I had to go directly home (do not pass go, do not collect £200) and hubby and I have had to self-isolate until the op. In at 7.30am so that’s good. Get it sorted and out again the same day.
So, another milestone reached. I haven’t been up to taking our dog for a walk for most of the time although I managed a few walks before the pre-op. I could only do about a mile but was beginning to build this up so I’ll continue with easy, short walks to begin with and build up my stamina and fitness again. I’m looking forward to getting back to the 3 or 4 mile walks I used to do with him. Two friends have been fab and walked our dog twice a day for us during the period of self-isolation. I even started a jigsaw!
I’ve got time to recover before Christmas so I’m very grateful for that. We will have a family Christmas that we didn’t get last year (as long as the government doesn’t mess that up). The tree is up and the lights are on around the house. So looking forward to it!
I’m so lucky to have my husband, relatives and friends who have all given me such amazing support through this journey. It’s not over yet as I still have to have the Phesgo injections but the worst should most definitely be over!
Meanwhile, I continue to enjoy our morning meditations with the group which are a blessing and keep me connected to spirit. I was worrying a bit about the surgery but I realised that was my personality taking over so I spent some time in meditation, sending light to the health professionals involved, for everything to go smoothly and it to be a success. Let’s see how good my light skills are…
Love and light to all who read this. No idea when my next update will be but have a lovely Christmas everyone!