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Reasons to be cheerful…

9th October 21

So, after my last post lamenting my many trials and tribulations, it is time to be much more upbeat. Because I have much to be grateful for and I’m now on the up! 

I left you anticipating having a blood transfusion. That was last Tuesday. What a transformation. Two units of AB D Rh pos from one or possibly two lovely people who gave up their time and the red stuff to help someone else. They have my gratitude. It takes a while. Each unit is approximately 250-300ml and takes two hours to transfuse. So I sat in bed, resting or reading, had lunch and was checked on a regular basis. Not exactly hard work on my part. I went in as someone who was huffing and puffing just going upstairs. I came out a spring chicken, able to take our dog on a gentle walk again in the sunshine, enjoying life and feeling the joy of just being out of the house and amongst nature. My thanks to the nurses and all involved. 

The next day wasn’t quite so pleasant. Mammogram and biopsy to hunt down a very small lymph node that had proved elusive in terms of yielding conclusive results so this one was being done using the x-ray machine. Women of a certain age will understand exactly what a mammogram entails. The rest of you will have to imagine (or just move onto the next paragraph!). Mammogram first. Squish, squash. Then the really fun part. They needed to make sure they were taking the biopsy from the right area as the ultrasound hadn’t been precise enough. So, they got me to lie on my right side on a bed, in a position I could maintain throughout the procedure. Earring out, various padding provided for vulnerable parts. Back into the machine, squish, squash. “This is what it will sound like when we take the sample” – sound of loud clicking. Yes, I know, I’ve heard that before, thank you. Anaesthetic in (“just a sharp scratch but it will start to work very quickly”). Biopsy needle in. X-ray to check it’s in the right position. Yup, all good. Off we go. Eight samples and accompanying clicks. “Are you ok?” asked at regular intervals until I said “I will let you know if I’m not ok” as actually talking is a bit of an effort when half your face is squashed on a pillow. I zone out into a place of meditation with a hefty dose of the frequency of peace. Marker inserted and finally I am released. Think I might be having words with the surgical consultation when I next talk to him. I was not expecting that… and I gave them a box of chocolates beforehand. Might not have been so generous had I known what they were going to do!! Seriously, the care was amazing and the determination to get the right results to make sure they know what they are dealing with is much appreciated. And it wasn’t as bad as it may sound, honest.

I had the usual visit from one of the nurses to discuss how things were going. Key points to discuss were the fact that the next dose will be reduced by 20% and my lower weight (due to the eating problems caused by the tooth). I haven’t been as low as my current weight since BC (before children) but I am eating properly now, although my tastebuds have inevitably been affected by the chemo. Salt and sweet come through clearly but the rest is a bit of a blur, making it difficult to really appreciate what I’m eating. 

It’s hubby’s and my wedding anniversary the day after chemo (not good timing) so we will be going out for a meal beforehand. Hope those tastebuds are back in action by then. 

Bloods will be taken on Monday. Hopefully all the numbers look ok and particularly haemoglobin following the blood transfusion.  

And, now I’m almost back to normal (whatever that is), except getting a good night’s sleep is a challenge, plus my digestive system is still a bit dodgy but I can hardly expect to be absolutely fine! I’ll take what I can. 

What is good is that I feel able to manage our morning meditation group again. I am very grateful to those in the group who have stepped in to keep it going whilst I’ve been unable to do so. When I am running it, I connect in with my guide and our wonderful group guide and former teacher, Lita (who like my guide works with us on the inner planes), to choose the meditation from the many recordings we have. We use Skype and I play the meditation for us all to follow. The energy of the group is very strong and enhances each individual’s experience of that particular meditation. The joy of working in a group is something special that we all feel and appreciate. Each person contributes their individual energy to the group, making the group experience stronger and richer. The meditations range from self-help to world service so there’s plenty to work on. Honing the personality and living a soul-infused life are the goal and it’s a lifelong commitment. Sometimes we remember and sometimes we forget, to use a phrase in one of the meditations, but we always strive to improve. Working with energy is such a valuable skill as you can achieve so much more than working on a human, personality, level. Remembering that those skills are available and trying to use them on a day to day basis are part of our learning experience. Everyone in the group has been such a support to me over the last few months in particular and I am truly grateful for that. I feel blessed to be part of this.

Back to the more mundane physical plane matters – chemo again next Wednesday. This will be #6. Three quarters of the way through. I’m getting there. Onwards and upwards! 

Thanks for reading and as always, love and light to you all.