I can’t believe my last blog post was in the middle of June! So much has happened since then that this could be quite a long read. I was booked in for a whole raft of baseline tests, which included a bone scan, CT scan, echo cardiogram, MRI, and two biopsies and marker insertions. The biopsies are where they give you a local and then take tiny chunks out of the tumour to check whether it is cancerous. They then insert a tiny titanium marker in the middle of the area for the surgeon to find when I have surgery, because if the chemo has done its work, the tumour might be hard to find! Last time it shrank by about a half.
I was lucky enough, after all this and before chemo, to go away with my husband down to Chichester for a weekend in a lovely hotel, the Millstream, in Bosham, which I can thoroughly recommend. We ate in their restaurant and the next day we visited the Wiston Winery on a beautiful sunny day. This was followed by dinner in Chichester and a visit to the National Trust property at Petworth House before we came home. It was so nice just to do something normal.
Back home, I prepared for chemo which started on Wednesday 30th. I had a homeopathic consultation and stocked up on all the things I needed to support myself holistically – vitamins/supplements, foot patches (for detox), detox bath ingredients, smoothie ingredients….
I am very lucky to be able to have the nurse visit me to give me the chemo. They come laden with equipment. They give me an anti sickness pill which is taken an hour before the chemicals are given to me. I always like to Reiki whatever I take in the form of medication and this applies to the four syringes of the two types of chemo. These are given intravenously together with fluids and the whole process takes about 3 hours. I was then given various tablets for keeping the sickness at bay. These are in different quantities, at different times, over the following four days, so I had to create a chart to keep track! These do the job but one of the drugs is a steroid and I didn’t really take to this. I have since checked with the nurses and I can halve the dose which will be much better next time. I won’t bore you with the side effects but it has been a bit of trial.
The next day, I am given an injection to boost my T cells. I was asked if I wanted to do this myself which filled me some level of horror but once I saw how the nurse did it and it really didn’t hurt, I was up for doing this myself after the next cycle. Luckily, my niece, who is a vet, was on hand the second time to check on my technique!
The first week after chemo was a real trial physically. The anti sickness drugs do their job but the side effects are difficult as I mentioned. I sleep in a different bedroom so I don’t disturb my husband as I am waking up at odd times. The Olympics has been great for providing some entertainment in the wee small hours.
My stomach is a bit delicate generally and after chemo it felt pretty sore and uncomfortable. However, I completely changed my diet – no more rubbish foods, porridge for breakfast and a smoothie for lunch. Lots of healthy fruit and veg in that but I have to be careful as the Nutri Bullet leaves all the bits in, which is all very healthy, but when you feel delicate, it can be a bit revolting to try to swallow so I am now going to juice carrot and beetroot after chemo to help keep my system going! Carrot and beetroot bits are really too much for me to handle!
I felt pretty rough for a week after chemo. No energy, disturbed nights, but slowly my body starts to recover and by the end of the cycle I feel human again. The trick, though, is not to overdo it as that is a temptation and all it does is throw you back down again. My oncologist said at the beginning that it would be a good idea to keep exercising and, ten years ago, that’s what I did but this time round I have had so little energy. I have managed a couple of normal walks. Halfway through this cycle, I had a portacath inserted as my veins are pretty rubbish so they can take blood and inject the chemo through this. Last time around I had a PIC line which comes out of your arm and is a problem if it gets infected. It also has to be flushed on a regular basis. The port is inserted under the skin in the upper chest and therefore doesn’t have the same problems. During the insertion I opted for sedation. The consultant and nurses were so good and it was over in a morning but my body didn’t like it for quite a few days after before it settled down.
I was able to go up to Cumbria to visit my sister in law and my nephew and nieces. We stayed in a holiday cottage and my daughter, who lives and works in Durham, came over to join us. Three days of family and happiness before we were back down and the second round started…
I was in a better place physically for the second chemo due to the healthy eating but it has still been difficult for a week after and it is only now that I am starting to feel human again. One day at a time.
So, that’s a lot of detail about the physical. What about the spiritual? I have been so focussed on my body that I haven’t done a great deal with my guide but our meditation group continues to meet every day on Skype and it’s my responsibility to choose the meditations we follow. I am being supported so much by the group who have offered homeopathy, Australian Bush Flower remedies, Aura Soma, clearing of my meridians and a healing session each week, which includes me and anyone else in the group who needs it.
I have been using Reiki when I can and I draw in the light to provide healing and support for my energy fields. I was prompted by a good friend who is also going to have to go through chemo for a different cancer to connect more with my guide now I am feeling better physically. Keeping that connection open and strong is now my priority on a daily basis.
I also received a website enquiry for a remote reading yesterday and this confirmed to me that the Universe wants me to continue to work through the chemo and will support me in doing so. Thank you Mary Ann – the Universe has brought us together at just the right time. I can’t do courses until I am out the other side of this but readings are fine.
So it’s a case of pace myself. Keep up the spiritual connection and use the light for the good of the Earth and all who travel upon her. There are so many lightworkers around, doing different things in different ways but all with the same intention – working for the highest good for humanity. When the world seems in chaos and fear, just holding yourself in the light, radiating it out to others and staying clear of those negative emotions, are all you need to do.
If you’ve got this far, well done and thanks for reading! I will aim to post more regularly now I’m in a bit more of a rhythm. Love and light to you all.